Monday, February 5, 2018

A romantic view of asking for what we want

We have desires on our hearts. We have goals, we have ambitions.
We also have so many reasons not to pursue what we want. We fear failure. We fear rejection.

Because honestly – it feels absolutely horrible to fail. It feels disgusting to get rejected. Hurt and pain associated with knowing you can’t have what you want is like getting kicked in the face by a really unattractive horse.

But there is only one feeling that is worse than knowing you can’t have what you want…
And that’s the feeling that you never tried.
The regret of wondering what could have been if you acted.

If you ask for what you want, you just might get it.  Along with that, you will feel a joy that comes with the courage regardless of outcome.

“You know, sometimes all you need is twenty seconds of insane courage. Just literally twenty seconds of embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great could come of it” Benjamin Mee

I understand there is a time for reason, and for patience. But I would argue that there is such a thing as too much reason, or too much patience. 

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not advocating for stupidity. We have to check the narrative we are telling ourselves, mentally prepare for disappointment and understand that we live in the real world when taking that leap.

With that said, occasionally it is worth picking up that phone, getting on that plane or knocking on that door, and literally asking for that opportunity. The only downside is unpleasant short term emotional pain. This pain can then be channeled as a learning and can help inform a better approach for your next goal. It could be an avenue that you can cross off, one less avenue to travel, and more information gained about yourself and the world.

Take a moment, move on, and onto the next one.

The possible upside? At the risk of sounding clichéd – a dream could come true. At the very least you could take the next step on a journey that invigorates and excites your soul. That’s pretty cool.

Perhaps it is better to go out on your sword, knowing that you acted, than be left with empty justifications and rationalizations of not acting. As Ryan Holiday says, “courage at its most basic is taking action… Saying yes, let’s go”.

After all… is life not just a series of seasons and opportunities for us to pursue what is on our heart, wholeheartedly?